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What would YOUR ideal funeral be? [OC]

What would YOUR ideal funeral be? [OC]

38 Comments

  1. Quoted from MASH, when Hawkeye was mistakenly certified dead and received a mock funeral party:

    “The deceased will give the eulogy. Guests will have 20 minutes for rebuttal.”

  2. I only have two requests for when I die.

    * I want my remains spread around Disneyland.
    * I don’t want to be cremated.

  3. I don’t particularly mind what kind of funeral I have. Just as long as I can get up and walk away from it afterwards.

  4. My dad said he wanted to be cremated.

    Now everyone’s mad at me.

    But it’s really his fault for not specifying “after I die”.

  5. I told my GF that if i died before her i want either a viking funeral with a boat in flames on a river or lake or the sea or the cheapest “throw me in a garbage bin” she can find, i don’t want to waste money on something that is not cool as hell.

  6. The copy paste in parts of this makes it all the more perfect. The position and timing in a simple cartoon… genius.

  7. If the 4th panel, and the 3rd panel, optionally together, don’t become a meme, there is no justice in this world.

  8. I would prefer to be thrown in a ditch, but apparently it’s FROWNED UPON in this ESTABLISHMENT.

    So I wanna get my body turned into diamonds and stuck in my skull. And if *that* gets vetoed, I want clowns and a bouncy castle. I want my body thrown in the bouncy castle and whoever bounces my body highest gets the most expensive thing I owned, whether it’s a house or a bunker hidden in the woods with an intense collection of Playboys but only with blonde-haired women and not like in a totally creepy, stalker-ish way because it’s art.

    And I want a disco ball and a Tim Curry impersonator.

  9. I always wanted to be secretly implanted with animatronics so that, in that middle of the funeral, I sit up singing “Hello My Baby.” Bonus points if they can get my eyes to roll around all different directions, independently of each other. Maximum uncanny valley.

  10. I don’t want anybody to spend any money at all. Dying is free, don’t even claim the corpse. It’s gonna stink, they gotta do something with it eventually, it ain’t like I’m going to bitch about it.

    You wanna have a funeral, have a sad bbq or something and drink till somebody starts a fight.

  11. Kind of like a Viking Funeral, except I want my friends/family to throw my body on some rich fucks yacht and light it on fire.

  12. Funerals are really really fucking sad business. Having it be a rager would probably help everyone get over the sadness, free mdma for everyone!

  13. I’ve made my wishes known. If I’m still single and childless when my time comes. I want my life insurance policy to help pay for my wake. Strip club. I want to be up on the main stage. And Free lap dances for everyone. Ladies, the Departed Last Wish was he wouldn’t be the only stiff in this place…

  14. The expressions and gestures brought this comic to a new level, I actually laughed out loud

  15. I don’t want anything fancy when I die, but if somebody wants to splurge, I’d rather have my ashes packed into a microsat.

    Edit: I wasn’t aware it was even legal, but apparently for a meager $12.5K, you can have a portion of your ashes either sent to the moon, or shot into the void. Orbit is 5K.

  16. Mine is gonna have a Journey cover band from Korea. People will have a blast. Then – as the finale comes along and people are really getting into it:

    Don’t stop bereavin!

  17. When My Time Comes, I Want To Be Buried Face Down, So That Anybody That Doesn’t Like Me Can Kiss My Ass