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They say age is just a number

They say age is just a number

40 Comments

  1. “Sir, if we employ you, you can and must forget everything you learned at college”

    “But I didn’t go to college sir”

    “Oh…then you are unqualified for this job!”

  2. “Your resume says this is your 1st job….and that you are, *checks note…..*a Buddist?”

    “I was a cashier in my previous life, and the life before that”

    “….fair enough, you start Monday”

  3. Entry level engineers wanted, must have 10 years Otj and experience.

    Entry level software developers wanted, must have 8 year experience in (insert tool that’s only 2 years old).

    Entry level architect needed, must have experience in Ancient Rome and Egyptian pyramid construction concepts and practical methods.

    Entry level car designer needed, must have worked directly for Elon musk for at least 6 months and knows everything about Tesla… everything.

  4. Back in my early 20’s I couldn’t understand why a shit summer job at walmart required 3 different interviews/meetings…

    All this time later and I understand it even less

  5. Must be able to work 60 hours a week with flexibility to cover additional shifts as needed. 7.25/hr, no benefits.

  6. Ah, I remember when it was still acceptable to include physical attributes in what employers were looking for:

    “We’re looking for young, attractive bartenders! College students encouraged to apply! MINIMUM 5 years experience working behind the bar”

    …by 19? Or was 30 too old to be in college (cries tears of well vodka) ?

  7. Started work at age 8 sir/mam and worked two jobs for ten years each. 10+10=20 years experience.

  8. My uncle helped write one of the coding programs when he was in college and had been using that program since before it was officially released, he was listed in the credits. He went for an interview and was told he didn’t have enough years of experience with the program.

  9. And in the same vein: “We can’t hire anyone to work for us for a pitifully low starvation wage because of stimulus checks.”

  10. Also: we need you to be an expert in these skills and have 20 years experience but also be entry level and accept entry level pay. *shrug*

  11. Man, if you work any retail for about 1.5 years then you’ve gained at least 20 years in experience. In two weeks alone you’ve encountered at least 75% of every terrible, stupid, asshat human you’re likely to deal with.

    The rest is just drawn out over the remainder of your career and serves as stories that start with, “You’re not gonna f’ing believe what happened today…”

  12. Masters degree min, prefer Ph.D. References required from Neil deGrasse Tyson, Leonardo da Vinci, and God. Starting pay minimum wage with chance for 10 cent raise in 90 days. Equal Opportunity Employer. (Bring your own piss bottle)

  13. Reminds me of a job a saw once for a programmer. Wanted someone with 5 years experience in a certain code. Code had only existed for 3 years

  14. Reminds me of the time I applied for a minimum wage sales position and was told I wasn’t hired because I lacked sales experience.

  15. Wife: Hun lean in a see if you can hear the baby.

    Husband: *leaning in close* the fuck?

    Baby: sir that’ll be $3.50

    Unknown: can you break a 20?

    Baby: *Deep sigh* one sec….

  16. ‘oh yeah my mom was a bartender so I actually do have 2 years bartending experience as a zygote’

  17. Wasn’t there that dude that applied for a specific programming language job. They were asking for something like 5 years experience, and that programming language was only 3 years in the making. The dude was the one that made it.

  18. Asain Dads be like:

    D: “What is your age?”

    Me: “I am 12 (not really, it is just a random number i got from google RNG)”

    D: “WHAAT? You so stupid and lazy! When I was your age, I had 40 years of experience and invented bag zippers. And you can’t even solve a fraction problem!”

  19. Normal babies are born crying

    Cashier babies are born asking “Cash or credit card?”